My First Half Century Gift

Its early I know. But I got it in the mail this morning and I thought it prudent to open now. I am almost 50 you see and life at this age can be so uncertain. I will be the envy of the most hardcore biker gangs when I sport these babies on the open road. Don't know how old they are but likely prior to the jet age. Air forces were the department of the Army until after WW II so these suckers are old. Got them from an old friend I recently reconnected with. Lawrence is kind of a hybrid, a cross between Indiana Jones and Jason Bourne, so its anybodies guess where he got them. I have pictures in my head of a huge secret government warehouse piled high with crates, with cryptic writing on them like ABOVE TOP SECRET, OPEN ONLY IN CASE OF APOCALYPSE and such. Well at the rate the government has been spending lately, they probably started garage saling some stuff. Either way, THANKS LAWRENCE!!! Too cool!

2012 The End of the World. Are you ready?

Wenger 'Giant' Swiss Army knife - A good knife and a nice set of tools are what a survivor can really use when faced with the collapse of civilization, which is why you'll want this oversized Wenger Swiss Army knife. It holds the Guinness record for most multifunctional pen-knife, thanks to its 87-tool capacity. Seriously, if MacGyver was the last man standing, he could use this to build a rocketship to Earth-like planets in other solar systems. $999.

But if I put it in my pocket...?

Bookmarks

Where were you or what were you doing when you heard that the Space Shuttle Challenger exploded, 25 years ago today?  How about the Kennedy Assassination, Space Shuttle Columbia disaster, September 11^th and so on. Where were you and what were you doing?  

When you stop to think, what makes these events so different, that when asked, you can recall with pristine clarity where you were, what you were doing, who you were with, how you felt, who informed you, the weather and probably even the smells in the air at that particular moment. These are like bookmark events in our lives. Times when we fell asleep or stopped paying attention, when all of the sudden, we are startled back into complete consciousness with shocking, unexpected news and hit the event record button of our brains.

What? I didn’t know Kennedy was in Dallas! But Shuttle Missions are so routine! They are sending civilian school teachers up! Who the hell is al-Qaeda?! And so it usually goes following such events. There was nothing on our radar, no inkling something of this magnitude could happen in our days. I remember my boss at the time, looked at my shocked expression and said “People have forgotten that space travel is still Experimental, it is anything but routine. Why are they sending teachers into space?”

Another thing happens after these events. Change. Things change. You remember sometimes how things were before the event and how things have changed since the event. One steep learning curve takes place and in some way things are different afterwards.

So what can we do with that? Go to that bookmarked page today and remember, that one moment that you stood still, really paid attention and mourned a great loss. Ask someone else, where were you or what were you doing when you heard that the Challenger exploded?” I think this is God’s way of honoring the brave. He puts these “Bookmarks” in our brains lest we forget and to remind us to pay attention more.

Who me?

Kennedy- I was too young but I remember saddness and crying.

The Challenger and 9/11- I was stuck in traffic on my way to work.

The Columbia accident- I was at home when Judy my sister called. It was a cold sunny day.

Do you ever get the feeling that you are your own worst enemy?

Yep. We have met the enemy, and he is us.

Today's Update!

Today, January 27th 2010, absolutely nothing of note happened. I'll try harder to keep y'all posted.

"I love a pungent, ghastly, STINKY piece of cheese!"

The FREEZER!!!

Forget the fat lady singing, watch the fat man run. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Di138t1iSo

From another blog. So true.

1. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

2. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

3. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

4. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

5. Bad decisions make good stories.

6. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

7. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

8. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

9. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists. 

Holiday Highlights

One of our Pit Stops. It was just so sudden! Before I knew it my bladder was empty, my tank was full and I was zipping down the freeway at 75 mph.

My niece studying for her entrance exams at Hazelden U

Christmas Day brunch at a truck stop. Its a tradition.

I came home for this crap? GOSH!

My nieces excelling at being teenagers.

Road Warrior.

No she is not smiling. She always looks like that when I'm driving. Its borderline hysteria.

That was one hell of a New Years party.

It was a slow Friday, what was a guy to do?

Yeah so I happened upon this citizenship test online and took it. I got 86 out of 96 right. I AM AN AMERICAN AFTER ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You gonna eat your tots?

OK. Who does not remember the scene where Napoleon Dynamite hoards tots. I like tots but never bought tots at the market nor eaten them in my own home. Then I had some leftover meatloaf I didnt know what to do with and came accross a meatloaf casserole recipe that was topped with tots. It was great! But then I had some leftover steak and add some soup mix, top it with tots and holy crap! 49 years old and what have I been missing? Its all so clear to me now. A whole new world of Tater Tot recipes ahead of me to try. Who Knew? So what if I use leftovers and tots to make a casserole and don't eat it all? Do I go by the expiration date of the original item cooked or the date that the leftover casserole with tots was cooked? I just can't throw away tots. It feels so wrong. Hey, I know...

 "TINA YOU FAT LARD, COME GET SOME DINNER!"

Youth ages, immaturity is outgrown, ignorance can be educated, and drunkenness sobered, but STUPID lasts forever."

A decision to ride an inflatable doll down a flood-swollen Yarra River in Australia blew up in a woman’s face yesterday when she lost her latex playmate in a rough patch. The incident prompted a warning from police that blow-up sex toys are "not recognized flotation devices’’. They were floating down the river on two inflatable dolls and had just passed the ‘‘We’ve got people busy with rescues and to have to divert resources to that sort of thing is not ideal," said Senior Constable Wayne Wilson.  Queensland in the grip of a deadly emergency and 50 rescues from flood waters around Victoria in the past week, police were not amused at the pair's "stupid" actions. The rescued pair were checked by ambulance officers but did not require medical attention. ‘‘The fate of the inflatable dolls is unknown,’’ said Senior Constable Wilson.

I am turning 50 in February. What shall I do?

This is probably the only time you will hear that I am excited about something. Mostly I just maintain an even strain. For my birthday Karen our dear friend is coming to Georgia and we will drive up to Northern Ga for the following getaway:
CULINARY GETAWAY

Enjoy cooking and learning new techniques to enhance your culinary skills?  Spend 1 1/2 - 2 hours with the Chef of Glen-Ella Springs Inn and learn inside secrets of the culinary trade. Your experience will begin with a private consultation to determine your particular areas of interest.  Based on this, the chef will then tailor your cooking class to help you achieve your overall objective. 

Package includes:

• 2 night’s lodging
• Dinner each night in Glen-Ella’s much acclaimed restaurant
• Breakfast  each morning
• Up to 2 hour cooking class with the chef of Glen-Ella Springs!!!!!!!!!!

Anyone else wanna join us?!?!

January 15, 1967, Packers win the first Super Bowl

On January 15, 1967, the Green Bay Packers of the National Football League (NFL) smash the American Football League (AFL)’s Kansas City Chiefs, 35-10, in the first-ever AFL-NFL World Championship, later known as Super Bowl I, at Memorial Coliseum in Los Angeles. The Packers’ famed quarterback, Bryan Bartlett "Bart" Starr, completed 16 of 23 passes on the night. The score at game’s end stood at 35-10, and Starr was named Most Valuable Player. Asked to comment on the match-up after the game, Green Bay Coach Vince Lombardi expressed the common opinion that even the best of the AFL--the Chiefs--"doesn’t compare with the top NFL teams."

So January 15 2011, the Packers play the Atlanta Falcons. Which will I root for? Hmm. Its hard. Well, I base most of my life choices on my favorite food of all things. I like cheese but I also like southern BBQ. Hmmmm. Well to quote the roaming gnome "I love a pungent, ghastly, STINKY piece of cheese!"

Day whatever of the World Famous Banana thingy whatever.

Note that the banana has depleted gradually over the weeks, almost to the point of complete exhaustion. Its backened hardened carcass sags lifeless. Kind of the way I feel after the holidays. Blah blah blah whatever.

Brought to you by CoCola! Its refereshing!

What was the first thing Noah did upon leaving the ark?

AP Science Writer= WASHINGTON (AP) — The earliest known winery has been uncovered in a cave in the mountains of Armenia. A vat to press the grapes, fermentation jars and even a cup and drinking bowl dating to about 6,000 years ago were discovered in the cave complex by an international team of researchers. While older evidence of wine drinking has been found, this is the earliest example of complete wine production, according to Gregory Areshian of the University of California, Los Angeles, co-director of the excavation. The findings, announced Tuesday by the National Geographic Society, are published in the online edition of the Journal of Archaeological Science. The same Armenian area was the site of the discovery of the oldest known leather shoe, dated to about 5,500 years ago. That discovery at the area known as Areni-1 was reported last summer. According to the archeologists, inside the cave was a shallow basin about 3 feet across that was positioned to drain into a deep vat. The basin could have served as a wine press where people stomped the grapes with their feet, a method Areshian noted was traditional for centuries. They also found grape seeds, remains of pressed grapes and dozens of dried vines. The seeds were from the same type of grapes — Vitis vinifera vinifera — still used to make wine.

Interesting connection no? Note the location or Ararat to Armenia.